Words Are All We Have

Being in my second semester I've had a rather large expenditure of almost £200 (insane) all entirely on books, and the disappointing thing is, I haven't actually read a lot of them all the way through - I often rely on skimming, and briefing myself on the beginning, middle and the end.

I said in a previous post that I hadn't read a lot, and that's no word of a lie. I really haven't. What made me choose English and American Literature - somehow I've got away with not explaining this after all this time - is actually the writing. I love writing and always have done, and I love analysis. Of course, I look like an idiot doing a literature course, right? Even so, I still enjoy it. The reading is not my favourite part obviously, but writing essays genuinely makes me happy. In my first semester, not so much. My focus was on partying, and though that attitude is not entirely out of the way, I am still a first year after all, I intend on being much more sensible and focused on my essays this semester - as I know I can achieve better.

I suppose you could call this my epiphany post? I understand why I'm at university now more than ever. That sounds ridiculous too of course. Uni for a lot of people is often partially about spreading your wings and getting that leap of freedom, for me it was almost entirely that - not that my parents were remotely suffocating, they in fact gave me a brilliant and very free up-bringing - but it felt good to take a leap into the unknown. I could have leapt further, but I adore Keele and don't regret my decision to come here what so ever. Now, I'm appreciating my course choice too, I consider this realisation as me finding my feet (a bit later than most).

I was quite a negative person at school, with a bad attitude that continued into my A levels - and though I did do well, my heart was never truly in anything I did. I've always described myself as drifting through life - I've never truly latched myself onto anything and really loved it, besides writing. I know with this degree, a bad attitude will get me no where, my old attitude will get me no where.

University is about having fun, doing things in these few years that you really can't do (or at least get away with doing) when you grow up, get a job and do what ever else society expects of you (you can, of course, resist that too). But my advice is, don't be an idiot about it (mature speech now) have all the fun you like, but don't let your course get the better of you. Even in the first year, I've given all the 'the first year doesn't count' bravado, but truly everything you do counts.

After all, isn't it better to say I had fun and I did well rather than, cracking good year, shame I've got to retake it?

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