Ahh home is where the heart is.
I love being back in my little village but this time round it's made me realise how much things are going to change over the next year. Ever since I left for university coming home has been lovely, and have no fear it still is very much so, but I've always made that slip in front of my parents of calling university 'home' and then quickly retracting the statement so I don't upset them. Of course they don't mind (at least they say they don't) but it always makes me feel a little guilty. But now the reality is that in a years time my parents home won't be my home, it'll be my second home for ever but I don't intend to return to Cornwall upon graduation due to the lack of jobs. And before you point it out, I know there's a lack of jobs everywhere, but I think (perhaps naively) I may have more opportunity near a city.
Though I think now the reality of how old I am is starting to hit me and I realise I'm over half way through my degree, and this time next year I'll have to be thinking about where I'm going to be living and start searching around for a job *screams inside*. I'm surprisingly not resisting this idea as much as I was a year ago. During summer before I started my second year, I wrote this in a blog post:
'With him all ready to act like - because actually becoming a grown up doesn't seem remotely fun - an adult, it's made me realise how unprepared I am to become anything more than a fresher.'
At the time I was dating someone who was 5 years older than me, and graduating with a Masters degree, which made me feel pressured to grow up, rather than ready to. Now, I'm a little more ready to embrace the idea of graduate life. Of course I'm sure I'll feel totally different when it comes down to it, but for now at least being in the right mindset may benefit me a little!
Living wise I can't say where I'll be, perhaps with friends, strangers or maybe even with my boyfriend. It's unpredictable right now and dependant on what everyone else does too, so I can set that aside to think about early next year, rather than make plans that can't be made concrete now!
And work wise, I've absolutely no idea. My volunteering in Thailand may spur me on to doing a PGCE, or it may deter me away from it completely, unfortunately I simply can't say what job I may go into, especially with the job market the way it is now. All this mystery sort of makes it all the more exciting, rather than daunting.
Though for now, home is pleasant. I've spent many lazy days on the sofa, watching repeats of Come Dine With Me and working on my essays, whilst throwing a little bit of exercise in, but not nearly enough. I've also done my first whole day & evening of babysitting, successfully changing a nappy for the first time in my life *pats self on back* - and I can honestly say that looking after a 6 year old and a 3 year old for a few hours has definitely shown me that I'm content on steering clear of parenthood for another 10 years or so!
MissIsGoode
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