Doctors, Dentists and Liver Damage

What many don't always consider when making the move to university is who's going to be there when the student life takes its toll, but fear not, in most cases your savours are near by.

The best thing to do when you know where you're going to uni is to find out where the closest doctors and dentists surgeries are. In Keele's case, they're located on campus, buried in the depths of Horwood Halls. When you arrive at uni, in the first week, it's a good idea to get registered at your local doctors surgery, as they'll offer you a flu jab that'll 'protect' you from the lovely mixture of world wide germs and the effects of grubby (I'm sure you're all very clean really) students mingling. I say 'protect' because after most people got the jab, they in fact became a bit ill, but it's still worth getting! Even if you don't think you'll ever need to go to the doctors, anything could happen, so sign on up. 

The hope is that none of you lovely lot get any illnesses, but it does happen. The best way to try and avoid - or at least limit - unwanted doctors trips is to attempt a healthy lifestyle. Students worldwide are laughing in my face. But it's a good idea to at least try. 

Staying healthy:

During the day time and evenings when you're not on the booze, drink plenty of water. This'll help cleanse your system and help sooth that sore throat you'll undoubtedly contract during freshers week.

Try to get a decent amount of sleep - 8 hours is usually the right amount, both too little and too much sleep will affect your productivity. But then again, you're a student now, and productivity is something we lack. 

Keep up the vitamin C intake. Here's a list of the top ten vitamin C foods. Yep, grose, none of them are pizza or ramen noodles. Alternatively just take vitamin C pills and/or drink lots of orange juice. That should cover ya.

Get some exercise! Whether this means joining a society or signing up to the gym, you need to get a decent amount a week. Personally I'd recommend the brilliant Xercise4Less in Newcastle. Unfortunately, dancing and slut dropping excessively on a night out doesn't give you the boost that exercising sober does. For Keele students going for a walk around the beautiful campus will be a form of exercise you won't even realise you're doing. 

I could now hammer you lot for the unsettling amount of units you'll consume, but I'd be a hypocrite. So...

Drinking rules:

Eat plenty before you start drinking.

Know your own personal limits.

Try not to get to the point of vomiting - though sometimes a tactical chunder helps.

Make sure the pre-drinks get you tipsy/drunk and out the door, not passed out in bed before the night's even underway.

Never leave your drink unattended.

Don't be afraid to say no and turn a drink down.

Don't drink strangers drinks - I know it's a silly thing to say but I've known people to do it, and picking up a drink that someone left behind is as bad as drinking your own drink you left unattended.
Don't be rude to the bouncers - these men and women in fact consider themselves to be God's of some sort, so be rude to them and your night out will be ruined, especially if its at the union because once all your mates are inside, I don't think they'll want to taxi their way to an alternative night out in Newcastle for you! (Not necessarily a drinking rule, but once you're drunk you're gonna want to remember it)

Take a moment to reminisce about your sex ed class...

Sexual relations:

'Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers.' - Mean Girls

I don't think anyone could argue with me when I say that a lot of activity goes down in the pants department during university - God, it's like having the talk with your parents, I'm so sorry - but I'm just here to remind you that it takes two to tango. One form of contraception is all well and good, but two is better. Don't whack on 2 condoms like a fool. Many girls are often on the pill - so make sure you take this as it advises, such as similar times of day, it's a pain in the arse, but not as much as a baby at 18. Girls aren't the only ones responsible, condoms are the best way to protect from STD's - these are often associated with 'skanky' looking people but that isn't the case. Don't go assuming because the person you're getting lucky with is a slammin' hotty they're entirely uninfected. Unless you're in a long term relationship/agreement and know each other's sexual history, it's best to bust a condom out when you experience a sexual encounter. 

Personal safety

Aside from sex, drugs and vitamin C, you also need to make sure you're safe from strangers.

To incoming Keelites: It's a pretty safe campus, so don't get panicked. You have the safety bus and a scheme in which someone will walk you home. Here's few tips to help you keep safe:

Stick to well lit areas and avoid alleyways and parks.

Walk fast, look confident and don't stop to talk to strangers - though usually a stranger around Keele is a friendly drunk student just like yourself, and not always a threat, but sometimes it's best to not take the chance.

Keep your phone on you and an alarm if possible.

Don't forget to always watch out for others.

Don't walk directly behind someone walking alone as you may make them feel uncomfortable and similarly if you're in a group, it can be quite intimidating.

Don't let your friends walk home alone, even if they insist they'll be fine.

When travelling:

Never ever ever get in an unlicensed taxi.

Avoid empty train carriages and try to stay around plenty of people.

Park your car in a well lit area if you need to return to it after dark.

My moment of sounding like a parent is over. 

I hope you all survive with your flu cured, your drinks unspiked, free of alcohol poisoning and with STD's avoided! 

MissIsGoode

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