Hire me?

As I sit here struggling to fill my CV with blissful boasting about how fantastic, academic and creative I am, I thought I'd share all that I have to offer. I'm currently living the life of an unemployed student, and after the security of always having a job to return to back in Cornwall (even right now it's open to me), it's safe to say I'm no expert at tackling the dreaded CV. 

But I think I'm just about employable.

Curriculum Vitae 

Name: Isobelle 
Age: 19 
Sex: Go on then

My Achievements: 
7 badges
Pokedex - 64
Time - 42:42
Has successfully relived youth several times over by playing Pokemon Yellow on a Gameboy
Ten GCSE's, 1 BTEC, 4 A levels, 1 undergraduate degree in progression and a Hogwart's acceptance letter lost in the post

Skills:
License to defend against attackers in a poor manner of long lost skills (Junior Black Belt)
Can cook a hearty home cooked meal on a student budget
Will take 400 photos on a night out and always manage to make self and friends look repulsive
I'm also really good at collecting 5ps

Previous Employment:
Bakery Assistant - I offered customers my buns and bloomers
Pot washer - I got paid for a job that many students struggle to complete on a daily basis
Cleaner - I cleaned the cottages of Cornwall for uptight elderly city folk

What I can bring to the team:
Free alcohol
The opportunity to laugh at me rather than with me
A full head of red knotted hair to brighten your day
A lack of fashion sense
A really bad sense of humour
The opportunity to watch Harry Potter on repeat

I think I have a high chance of getting employed with this bad boy...

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